Fast Freddy – the turtle with the quick quips

Who is Fast Freddy?  He’s a free-spirited fun-loving character with a unique point-of-view. Freddy combines traits of comedian George Carlin and Yankee great Yogi Berra. He exhibits a quirky philosophy and when he says anything profound, it’s usually by accident. He’s a great spokesturtle. He knows the benefits of a good training program first-hand, and doesn’t hesitate to tell everyone within earshot.

December Quips

December already. Times sure flies. Mmmm...flies.

If you're thinking of getting me a gift - I love sweets. But please, no Turtles.

This is a great time of year to reflect on your year's achievements and to set new goals. I'm setting my sights on the 100m and leaving Usain Bolt in my dust.

The road to self-improvement isn't necessarily straight. And this time of year, it can be slippery too.

Happy New Year to all of God's creatures: Mammals, reptiles, amphibians, insects – who have I left out? Oh yeah, Sly Stallone.

November Quips

It is not the strongest of the species that survives, rather the one that’s fastest on its feet. I’m OK with that. I’m evolving. Are you?

I’ve given up on the triathlon. Instead, I’m getting ready for the Winter Olympics at Whistler. I’m a natural for the one-man luge.

Know your limitations. I know I’ll never be an actor. Although I think I’d make a great stand-in for Michelangelo if they ever remake the Teenage Ninja Turtles. What’a’ya think?

Life is a marathon. Don’t be a silly rabbit and sprint from one thing to another and end up getting nowhere. Keep a steady pace.

October Quips

My good pal General George Patton once said, "A good plan executed today is better than a better plan executed next week." Listen to George. Execute something today. Er..rather, start something today.

I'm training for the triathlon. Swimming? I'm amphibious. Running? They call me Fast Freddy for a reason. If I ever learn how to peddle a bike – watch out Olympics.

Every year, a lot of good friends don't make it across the street. Moral of the story? Just because you're headed in the right direction, doesn't mean you won't get squished. Sign up for a training program. It'll light a fire.

I crawl into my shell and sometimes don't come out. But then again, I'm a turtle. What's your excuse?